On Having Grace

I think one of the most vital dispositions to hold hands with is grace. 

Grace, by definition, is “courteous goodwill”, or at least the one I am talking about. It’s one of those rare emotions that elicit a need for choice— to choose an elegantly refined reaction to, well, really anything. I call it an emotion because, as you practice the act of having grace with yourself and others over time, it gradually releases a sense of peace—like warm, calm sunlight casting its glow onto your morality. Something you can feel; something that makes you feel good, wholly. 

That being said, practicing grace is challenging. Since graduating college and moving into an apartment alone, I’ve had a lot of time to think and I’ve also had a lot of time to feel lonely. This combination can become a toxic, isolating, and miserable experience- one you can only blame yourself for. I began noticing that I was comparing my seemingly uninspired life with complete strangers who captioned their short-form videos with things like “romanticize your life” and “DIML” with perfectly curated lattes and dinners with friends, trips to beaches with tiny bikinis, office sirens being able to work in corporate, but I can’t? See what I mean?

I’ve always been built with an internal system that knows when to override an inner work when it reaches a threshold— and I think this is why I am writing this right now— I’m reaching the threshold for feeling so forlorn about myself and the very unique, one-of-a-kind, special path that is my own. 

Have you heard the saying “You can’t love someone fully if you do not love yourself fully?” I think that the same thing applies to the notion of having grace- you have to know when to give yourself it before applying the same, genuine technique to someone or something else.